Sometimes I am just amazed at how good God is. Everyday is a miracle. Embrace each new opportunity and be present in each moment of your life. Stop and smell the roses sometimes. Appreciate this beautiful world that God created and marvel at his magnificence. I love God with every fiber of my being. He's the best. If you don't know HIM, get to know him. He's waiting for you :)

Have a great day ya'll and be blessed!!

Change - the only inevitable thing

Like the seasons, time, and love....everything changes

I thought I had it. But I lost it. Again. I walked into there blindly. Left with clearer vision. Again. I didn't reach for that. For fear of losing it. Again. Everything changes. Again. And again.

I've claimed to know that everything changes, but this past year has been all about me understanding this. I've learned that it is not enough to just know something; for to know without understanding is to have the mathematical formula without the equation. I thought I understood that everything changes, but this past year has been all about me accepting this. To understand something and not accept it is to hold it in your mind but keep it outside of your life. And with acceptance comes belief, and with belief comes confidence, and in that confidence there is peace. I sat and asked myself why everything changes. I couldn't figure it out. That's really a question for God/the universe/the powers that be/science or whatever else you may believe in. One thing is for sure: even if we do not know why everything changes, it is clear that everything always does.

If you had asked me two years ago where I would be and what I would be doing right now, I would not have responded with where and what I find myself doing today. I would have told you that I would be in love, and that I would be happily married and planning to start having children. And here I sit: single with no plans for a child in sight. But at the same time, I know that true love is right beyond my grasp. It was not until things changed, when God started to really bless me. He's blessed me with endurance and a greater understanding and appreciation for life. I had to go through what I went through in my marriage to become the woman I am today. Had I not gone through, what I've went through with my my ex-husband, I would not be able to appreciate true love in the future. My May reality would have upset me two years ago; and yet today I can say that I am blissfully happy. Why? Because just like everything else: I am also always changing.

I think that our perception of what change is often hinders our acceptance of it. How many of us see change as 'having vs. not having'? As 'existence vs. non-existence'? I'm not sure when that happened for me, but I thought change meant, in effect, to end. Change was the death of things. And how foolish it was to think this, for this is not the nature of the world we live in. If you are 15 years into a happy marriage, it is a different marriage to the one you had 10 years ago. And relationships change largely because of the people in them; who reading this is the same person they were at 12 years old? Change is just about movement; a movement in line with nature. Seasons change, time changes, the moon changes, the tide changes, and our lives change too. So if we know that we are inherently transient beings, in line with the nature of the world that we live in, what cause do we have to fear change?

I think our fear of change is directly related to the notion of change being the death of things; and this is often tied to low expectations rooted in misperception. Sometimes we believe that what we have, especially if it is good, is the most/best/greatest thing we will ever have. Out of this belief comes a battle, a battle against the natural order. For if we are changing everyday (even in spite of ourselves) and then we are holding onto things that fit the people we once were, we are doing the spiritual equivalent of wearing clothes that are four sizes too small. You've grown, but your life is tight around the chest, tight around the arms and tight around the legs. Now it's hard to breathe, hard to reach for things and hard to travel. Our only concern should be that everything fits. My life today fits the person I am today, and this is why I am happy.

The other reason I think we fear change is that we are afraid of failing. In my eyes, the concept of failure is the biggest obstacle to understanding and accepting change. Failure implies that 'end' that I mentioned, of which in reality there is none. Think about what you consider to be your biggest failure. What did you do next? Whatever you did, I know there was a next, because there is always a next. Even 'failure' is just a part of change. Failure has had me in tears so many times, but if you use it correctly, it becomes the beginning of the next movement in your life.

Knowing that everything is transient leaves you with two choices. You can either not become attached to anything in anticipation of your loss of that thing, or you can fully engage with what you have at any given moment in time. Would I sound like a broken record if I said that to do the former is to go against the nature of things? There is no need to worry, no need to fear, no need to push; because change happens without us making it so. And if we're not worrying, and we're not watching, and we're not bracing ourselves for failure; what are we doing? We're enjoying life. We're moving with, and not against, the natural dynamism that pulses through this planet. Love hard. Be bold. Fear nothing. Try everything. Reach for the thing you want the most. Ride those changes to the next stop. Hop off. Then hop back on for your next destination.

My present is beautiful. It may not have everything that I want right now, but I know it's just a matter of time before that is worked out. I think about my future now and I can't help but smile. I'm excited about all the things I want, all the things I don't yet know that I want, and all the things I want but won't get. The unknown now fuels as opposed to extinguishes my fire, and I'm excited about the changes ahead. When you think about it: change is actually the antipode of death. It is the only permanent thing that we have. Rejoice in this.

Check out this video. What in the world???

Valuable Life Lessons

Well, it's a new day and I have to say that today is definitely better than some previous days have been. I recently received a very bad blow to my heart, but I know with God I can and will survive. It's funny how life teaches you so many valuable lessons. For me though, it seems that I keep re-living the same lessons and God continues to reiterate certain points to me. If I've learned nothing else, I've learned that God is the ONLY constant thing in life. People change, they come and go, but God remains the same and He will never leave you or forsake you. I've always known this, but life has a funny way of reminding you of what's real.

I always say actions speak louder than words. You can 'tell' me anything, but I'm watching to see what you 'do'. I've also learned that sometimes your intentions don't matter in the grand scheme of things. You can intend to not hurt someone, but if you hurt them anyway, the hurt still feels the same. It doesn't hurt less to the person because you didn't intend to hurt them.

Tyler Perry, in one of his plays talked about how he seperates everyone in his life in the category of a tree. He goes on to say how some people are like the leaf of a tree - the wind blows and they're over here or over there. They're unstable, but that we shouldn't get mad at them because that's what they were put on this earth to be. They just take from the tree and give shade every once in a while. He says most people are like the leaves on the tree. Then he said some people are like a branch on a tree and that you have to be careful with those branches. He said they will get there and make you THINK they're a good friend, but as soon as you step out there on them, they'll break and leave you high and dry. But then he says that some people are like the roots at the bottom of a tree and that if you get two or three roots in your life, HOLD ON to those people because they aren't going anywhere. They don't have to be seen, no one has to know that they know you, or what they're doing for you, but if those roots weren't there, that tree couldn't live. I've been seeing who the true "roots" are in my life really are. And I've had to face the painful reality that some people that I thought were my "roots" were really just branches and it hurts.

But then I remind myself that no servant is greater than his master. If Jesus suffered, then so must I. Jesus himself was 'acquainted with grief' and he himself was betrayed by Judas, one of his very own disciples. So I tell myself that for every lesson and heartache I experience, I am getting stronger, wiser, and my faith is increasing. It's all a part of the process. So on yesterday, I shed my share of tears, but when I finished, I picked myself up, encouraged myself through the word of God, and collapsed in the loving arms of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. He was there for me when nobody else was. He gave me the strength to smile inspite of the pain and I know that His plan is beyond my understanding, but that "all things (not some) work together for the good of them who love Him and are the called according to his purpose".

So I know my latter will be greater than what's been and I know that God has so much more in store for me and my life, so I am grateful to God for everything he's done, past, present, and future.

This is kinda neat

When a GIRL is quiet ... millions of things are running in her mind. When a GIRL is not arguing ... she is thinking deeply. When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions ... she is wondering how long you will be around. When a GIRL answers " I'm fine " after a few seconds ... she is not at all fine.

When a GIRL stares at you ... she is wondering why you are lying. When a GIRL lays on your chest ... she is wishing for you to be hers forever. When a GIRL wants to see you everyday... she wants to be pampered. When a GIRL says " I love you " ... she means it. When a GIRL says " I miss you " ... no one in this world can miss you more than that.

Life only comes around once make sure u spend it with the right person .... Find a guy ... who calls you beautiful instead of hot. who calls you back when you hang up on him. who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who ... kisses your forehead. Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats. Who holds your hand in front of his friends. Who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. Who turns to his friends and says, " That's her!! "

Reflections of Reality

I have been thinking today about life, love, and relationships. Despite all the books and advice on the subjects, it all boils down to the level of commitment, communication, and willingness to work on the relationship by the two parties involved. I've learn that while love is essential in a relationship, love alone will not sustain a relationship. I've often said that true love is loving someone not 'because' of but 'inspite' of. Many times, we search for and long for the 'high' feeling associated with falling in love. The happy times...the giddy feeling we get when we hear that person's voice...the constant "Baby" and "I love you boo"....and all the cute litte pet names we come up with for our partner.

But what we really need to be looking for is that "unconditional love"....love that is not based on anything superficial and can weather the worst of storms. Everyday in a relationship will not be peaches and roses. You must take the good along with the bad. And in my opinion, nobody proves their love when things are going well. True love is found down in the trenches...when you're having a disagreement, or your fall on hard times, or when you discover that Mr. or Mrs. Right isn't so perfect after all. They're human. To me, love is a decision and an action word. Anyone can say that they love you, but how do they display their love? That's what really counts. You have to ask yourself, when the chips are down, we this person still be there loving you.

And if the answer to that question is yes, then you must always keep in mind that love is a 24/7 job. You get out of it what you put into it. Things do not naturally work themselves out or fall into place automatically when you're in a relationship. You and your partner have to be willing to do the work and make the relationship better every day. The minute you start to slack, you will see your relationship change and it's usually not for the better.

Also know that even two people who are perfect for each other still are not perfect people. Therefore, mistakes will be made, but that's when you have to employ forgiveness and move on from there. Let every situation serve as a learning experience and let it be a stepping stone (and not a crutch) in bringing you and your partner even closer together.

Love by Pokahontaz

This is a poem I like by Pokahontaz

As I sit back and reminisce on what love
has done to me.
you would wonder how can I grin, how can I smile
how can I appear to be so happy.

Because in my full term with love, the afterbirth
was pain.
That was felt again and again, different face, different name
but results were still the same.

How can I yearn for such a thing that causes so much hurt and
so much strife.
How can I desire the American dream, he as my husband
and I as his wife.

How can I put myself back on the edge of a rocky,
unsteady cliff.
Not knowing if I will be pushed and land once again
all broken and stiff.

As I lean back in my chair and feel all the hurtful emotions
take over me.
I fancifully envision a fairy godmother giving me a potion to
set me free.

"A potion? A real potion"; you may say.
"Is it mixed with red bull and Tangueray?" *

Ah No, but it is a potion that is mixed with the feelings of
pure bliss.
A feeling that is an ultimate high that you can't
get from a fix.

It is a feeling of butterflies in your stomach, or a
whisper in your ear.
It is a feeling of passion and courage; standing tall even
if Goliath were near.

It is the Dr. Jekyll when it's alter
ego is Mr. Hyde
It is the cure of its own disease and restorer
to its own plight

Can I just taste, indulge and bathe in its beauty, cherish God's
gift oh I won't complain.
It is worth all its grief if I can dance for just for a moment in its rain

He loves me....he loves me not...

Let me say as a disclaimer that the following is just my opinion based on my experiences and observations of other's experiences. For some reason my friends and even random strangers approach me often for advice. Sometimes it's general life advice, it's about men, or relationships, etc. But one topic that has come up quite often lately is from women trying to figure out if a man is into them or not. So I thought I would write a note and answer everybody at once.

I have a simple theory when it comes to the subject of figuring out if a guy is into you and it goes like this:

Words that translate into action equals truth.

In other words, if you want to know what a man is feeling towards you, pay more attention to his actions than his words. Words are important too, but without the weight of action behind them, they mean nothing. However a man treats you is revealing to you the truth about what he really feels towards you. So ladies, if a man is telling you all the things you want to hear, but is not displaying those words through his action, then what he's really saying to you is he's not interested.

Now there are some men who are better at expressing themselves verbally than others, but if a man really cares about you, his actions WILL show it (even if he is not the best at expressing it verbally). If he's not showing you anything to back up his so called love or care for you, wake up honey.....he doesn't love you or care. Now some of you may disagree with me and that's okay too. This is just my opinion once again. Please also keep in mind that my theory does work both ways. It applies to women too, but since the questions I've received were directed towards men, I'll just be addressing it from that perspective.

Two other questions that I have gotten that fall under this same subject are: 1) Why doesn't he call? and 2) Why does he tell me something and then not follow through?

Okay, so there can be many reasons why a man doesn't call you and all of them doesn't necessary reflect on you or even on the man negatively. Okay first off, you need to determine if he is more of a face to face kind of guy who doesn't like talking on the phone alot. Once you've ruled that out and have determined that's not the case, then evaluate your situation. Are you dating this guy or are you just friends? If you're dating the guy and he doesn't call, and he's okay with talking on the phone, I would be inclined to think that he's just not that into you or maybe you're just not that high on his list of priorities as you thought you were. And the reason I say that (and this applies to question 1 & 2) is because men (or people in general) do what they WANT to do. Think about it. If you really want something or want to do something, nothing or no one will be able to stop you.....IF you truly want it. It's only when we're feeling pressured or don't want to do something for whatever reason that we suddenly become very absent minded and drag our feet in the matter.

Think about it....when you were a kid and it was Christmas morning, did your parents have to wake you up and make you open your presents? No, you were excited to get up and open your gifts. If someone told you that they were going to give you a million dollars tomorrow at 10 AM, would they have to call you and remind you and bug you to come and pick up your money?? Absolutely not. We, as humans do what we WANT to do. That applies to life and to how we deal with those of the opposite sex. So I said all of that to say that if your man (or woman) is not making you feel loved the way you believe you deserve to be loved and you're not happy, move on baby because life is too short to be anything but happy. There is someone for everyone. Just because your current dating situation is not working out, doesn't mean you have to settle for anything. It's never fun to be in love alone. So figure out what makes you happy, pursue that, and let everything else go. It could be that you're just not compatible with that person. It doesn't make you or your partner a bad person. That's what dating is all about....learning and getting to know the other person to determine compatibility.

And don't lose hope because there are a lot of great men and women out there. Just open your eyes and your heart to accept real love when it comes and weed out all the imitators. Pray and ask God to send you the right person for you and things will work out in the end for you. Well, I'm off my soap box for tonight. I hope I answered your questions. This has been another Kimmy production. Thanks! LOL