Let me say as a disclaimer that the following is just my opinion based on my experiences and observations of other's experiences. For some reason my friends and even random strangers approach me often for advice. Sometimes it's general life advice, it's about men, or relationships, etc. But one topic that has come up quite often lately is from women trying to figure out if a man is into them or not. So I thought I would write a note and answer everybody at once.
I have a simple theory when it comes to the subject of figuring out if a guy is into you and it goes like this:
Words that translate into action equals truth.
In other words, if you want to know what a man is feeling towards you, pay more attention to his actions than his words. Words are important too, but without the weight of action behind them, they mean nothing. However a man treats you is revealing to you the truth about what he really feels towards you. So ladies, if a man is telling you all the things you want to hear, but is not displaying those words through his action, then what he's really saying to you is he's not interested.
Now there are some men who are better at expressing themselves verbally than others, but if a man really cares about you, his actions WILL show it (even if he is not the best at expressing it verbally). If he's not showing you anything to back up his so called love or care for you, wake up honey.....he doesn't love you or care. Now some of you may disagree with me and that's okay too. This is just my opinion once again. Please also keep in mind that my theory does work both ways. It applies to women too, but since the questions I've received were directed towards men, I'll just be addressing it from that perspective.
Two other questions that I have gotten that fall under this same subject are: 1) Why doesn't he call? and 2) Why does he tell me something and then not follow through?
Okay, so there can be many reasons why a man doesn't call you and all of them doesn't necessary reflect on you or even on the man negatively. Okay first off, you need to determine if he is more of a face to face kind of guy who doesn't like talking on the phone alot. Once you've ruled that out and have determined that's not the case, then evaluate your situation. Are you dating this guy or are you just friends? If you're dating the guy and he doesn't call, and he's okay with talking on the phone, I would be inclined to think that he's just not that into you or maybe you're just not that high on his list of priorities as you thought you were. And the reason I say that (and this applies to question 1 & 2) is because men (or people in general) do what they WANT to do. Think about it. If you really want something or want to do something, nothing or no one will be able to stop you.....IF you truly want it. It's only when we're feeling pressured or don't want to do something for whatever reason that we suddenly become very absent minded and drag our feet in the matter.
Think about it....when you were a kid and it was Christmas morning, did your parents have to wake you up and make you open your presents? No, you were excited to get up and open your gifts. If someone told you that they were going to give you a million dollars tomorrow at 10 AM, would they have to call you and remind you and bug you to come and pick up your money?? Absolutely not. We, as humans do what we WANT to do. That applies to life and to how we deal with those of the opposite sex. So I said all of that to say that if your man (or woman) is not making you feel loved the way you believe you deserve to be loved and you're not happy, move on baby because life is too short to be anything but happy. There is someone for everyone. Just because your current dating situation is not working out, doesn't mean you have to settle for anything. It's never fun to be in love alone. So figure out what makes you happy, pursue that, and let everything else go. It could be that you're just not compatible with that person. It doesn't make you or your partner a bad person. That's what dating is all about....learning and getting to know the other person to determine compatibility.
And don't lose hope because there are a lot of great men and women out there. Just open your eyes and your heart to accept real love when it comes and weed out all the imitators. Pray and ask God to send you the right person for you and things will work out in the end for you. Well, I'm off my soap box for tonight. I hope I answered your questions. This has been another Kimmy production. Thanks! LOL
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